The Drabble Book
by DragonsRme
Summary: A collection of drabbles that i have written. Most will focus on Chekov, Sulu, McCoy or Kirk because i love all four of them. I will try and write light hearted ones but i will throw in a dark one here and there. This will never be complete because imagination is a wonderful thing. I OWN NO ONE I SWEAR! T because I never know what is coming next or the theme.
1. First Things First Kirk

_**hey this is my first star trek tos fanfiction. its a collection of drabbles because i cannot write long stories. a few will have sequal chapters and will share a similar name. i hope you enjoy them because i enjoyed writing them. please r&r xxxx**_

**First Things First - Kirk**

It had been a long walk from the Starfleet base to Iowa but Captain James T Kirk wouldn't have it any other way.  
The corn moon was in full glory as he approached his father's dusty old farm. Kicking up the reddened dust beneath his feet, he ran down the main drive and stood, panting slightly in the moon-bathed porch.

He set his bags down on the rickety rocking chair and fumbled around in the potted plants for the spare key. He found it and straightened up, unlocked the door and walked into the dark hall way. He breathed in deeply and the smell of dried wood and fresh bread filled his nostrils. He put his bags next to the grandfather clock and shut the door. Smiling slightly he crept upstairs, winching at creaking floorboards, and slipped across the landing and into his old room.  
He looked around and took in his old car posters and Starfleet ship models. Apart from being an awful lot cleaner than he remembered nothing had changed a bit. He walked over to the window and gazed across the dusty fields, illuminated by the moon. He sighed happily and fell backwards onto the bed. He was asleep in seconds.

Standing in the doorway the next morning, kirks parents smiled as they watched their son sleeping, still in his yellow Starfleet uniform and boots, spread luxuriously across the double bed.  
James Tiberius Kirk was home.


	2. Natural Grace

_**Sulu and Chekov friendship. i apologise for any incorrect accent stuff :)**_

**Natural Grace**

Chekov landed heavily on his bed, Sulu towering over him.  
"Pavel if you can't walk in a straight line you will have to go to sickbay."  
"but I can valk" Chekov retaliated "it iz just ze valls get in the vay!"  
Sulu sighed and counted on his fingers  
"the walls, the crew, the doors, the _floor, your feet _and anything in the vicinity of your travels_"_ he tutted and turned to his friend "Pavel are you drunk?"  
"Nyet!" Chekov exclaimed his eyes widening "I am not drunk, I iz just dizzy zats all" he swayed slightly as Sulu marched over to the computer. He flicked through Chekov's files and turned round.  
"Right you're not drunk, so that means your ill." He waited for a response as Chekov blinked a few times.  
"vhy are there two ov you Hikaru? Do you have a tvin I do not know about?" Sulu shook his head and walked over to the intercom and demanded sick bay as he watched Chekov lean slightly and topple off his bed and onto the floor.  
"Typical" Sulu muttered and he went to help his friend "Pavel you have the natural grace of an elephant on ice"  
Chekov giggled.


	3. Never Again

_**warning: slight c/s slash at the**_** end**

**Never Again**

Spock had refused to join in, leaving the Vulcan to stand in the corner watching his crew mates with a raised eyebrow.  
Bones glared at him through the flashing lights and clutched at the wall to steady himself as, a short distance away, Kirk fell flat on his face.  
Further ahead he could just make out the figures of Uhura and Chapel tottering around the dark room hand in hand. They both fell over with a squeal as two yellow shirted figures streaked past then.  
Bones growled to himself as Sulu and Chekov appeared next to him to pull their captain to his feet, grinning madly.  
They span around him dusting him off and vanished in the direction of the two stricken girls.  
He turned to Kirk and yelled  
"DAMN IT JIM I'M A DOCTOR NOT A ROLLERSKATER…oomph" Bones' roller-skates shot forward from underneath him causing him to land heavily on his back, much to the secret delight of Spock and Kirk. Bones clambered to his feet swatting away the helping hands of Sulu and Chekov who had appeared out of the gloom. They shrugged to each other and glided away backwards, blowing kisses to the grumpy doctor. Bones muttered 'show offs' under his breath and was relieved to hear Kirk's voice informing him that Sulu and Chekov were no longer allowed to choose the groups activity's on Shore leave. A yelp made him look around to see scotty collide with a pillar , wheels spinning madly. Bones attempted to roll to Scottys' rescue but fell over and ended up crawling to the dazed man. As he checked him out he could hear Sulu and Chekov talking close by.  
"Rollerskates vere inwented in Russia you know!" Chekov was exclaming  
"If you say so Pavel but i always thought they were from Japan" Chekov scoffed at his friend  
"Nyet everyone knows dat Russia made the first usable rollerskate. All Rollerskates are made in Russia exept for dis one because in von't go in a straight line" Sulu laughed came into view. Bones shrank back into the shadows, realising that he was evesdropping on a private converstaion.  
"you seem to be doing quite well on them" Sulu held out his hand and towed Chekov towards him.  
"Anyway you're the best thing Russia ever invented"he pulled Chekov into a passionate kiss which was returned by the young russian. Bones' eyes widened in shock and surprise and he attempted to pull Scotty back to Kirk when the kiss broke and Chekov fell over  
"Definitely _not_ made made in Russia" the man exclamed as even Bones had to suppress his sniggers.


	4. Our House Part 1

**hey i have more ideas along this line but i will need to know what you think before i carry on. Please Please Please R&R. I will probably drag the others in later and show the activitys and house from their point of view but McCoy is fun to write about for the time being xxx**

_**Our House Part 1**_

Leonard McCoy surveyed the house critically. After his divorce and the 5 year mission he wanted somewhere to call home, that _didn't_ fly through space at god knows how fast, _thank you very much._ But more importantly, he didn't want to be alone. That's why he was thrilled to find that Starfleet had built a whole neighbourhood of houses to rent to those living between missions. And this was a big house, designed for the habitation of six. The house was clean and showed no sign of human habitation. He turned the guide, confused  
"I thought you said someone lived here?" He inquired. The small man flicked through a document  
"yes sir two men sir. But I don't have their names. One doesn't seem to speak much English from what I can gather but his friend can. That's all I know sir. Oh and I have their ranks too, the one is a Lieutenant and the other one is an ensign sir." McCoy nodded his head, ranks did not matter to him but he was impressed with the house. He rubbed his hands together  
"I'll take it" he decided with a smile  
"very good sir, I will need one month's rent in advance if you don't mind sir" the man thrust a PADD at him and McCoy signed it with a flourish. The man handed over a key ring with two keys on it.  
"The copper one is for the backdoor and the long one is for the front door. Now if you will excuse me sir."  
The small man walked out of the house and McCoy wandered into the next room.  
It turned out to be a wide living room, cream in colour but decorated with various colours taking form in blue lamps and a red rug. There was a television in the corner on a glass stand and a huge bay window overlooking the front driveway and road. More exploration led him to the kitchen which was obviously well used; a stable door was hanging part way open on a small copper chain. A small oven was on and Leonard could see a cake rising slowly within. He smiled and walked back to the hall and dragged his bags up the stairs.  
He looked along the landing and saw eight doors. Two were painted blue, the others white. He dropped his bag and tried a blue door.  
It swung open to reveal a shining bathroom complete with bath/shower, toilet, sink and some sort of wooden room. The other blue door revealed the same. He stepped back onto the landing and looked at the white doors. Two of which were in use, but which ones?  
Taking a breath he tried the door nearest him and found himself peering into a red painted room. It was spotless. Even to the point that Leonard would have thought it unoccupied if he hadn't spotted a pair of slippers positioned at the end of the bed. He backed out of the room and tried the next one. The silver room was obviously used, the bed sheets were rumpled and clothes were draped over a chair.  
The next room was unoccupied and he settled himself on the bed. Slowly he began unpacking, hanging up his blue medical uniform with care and depositing items around the room. He then noticed the window. Upon a glance the garden seemed overgrown and uncared for but, upon closer inspection through the window, he saw lots of different species of flowers, bushes and trees being treated by a small figure in green and blue. He stepped back as the figure looked up at spotted him at the window but, was almost relieved when the figure waved and made back towards the house. He watched the figures progress until he saw a second figure join the first from what seemed to be a fenced off area of garden. He headed downstairs to meet his new house mates.

He entered the kitchen as two young men entered from the backdoor. They were chatting happily and turned when they saw him.  
"Doctor McCoy" the tallest one exclaimed. McCoy did not get a look at the second man as the said man hurtled across the room and enveloped him in a bone crushing hug. He patted the back and was stunned as a happy Russian face beamed up at him  
"Chekov!?" Leonard gasped untangling himself from the navigator.  
"Da and Hikaru iz here too. He vas the von that saw you at ze window" the floppy haired boy beamed and stepped back to allow sight of Sulu.  
"Well this _is_ a surprise" Sulu said reaching forward to shake the doctors' hand. Disbelief shone on Sulus' face. McCoy grinned. At least I don't have to make new friends, he thought as Sulu ran him through many arrangements and information. Apparently after the enterprise he arrived back they had gone straight back home and seen their families for a few days then met up and rented the house, whilst he had spent a while at the academy filling in data and giving lectures for a few weeks before taking his leave. He did not know the two men as closely as he did Jim and even Spock, damn it, but they promised some good times. And you never know, he thought as Chekov busied himself with the cake and Sulu found a cleaning timetable Chekov had drawn up, they wouldn't mind having an old doctor around.


	5. Sleep Starship Sleep

_**a little sleepy fic i wrote whilst being tired. enjoy xxx sorry i you think anyone is slightly OOC**_

**Sleep Starship Sleep**

A slumbering starship is a contented starship, but none as contented as the Enterprise, as a shift ended, and the bridge crew trailed to bed. The first to arrive at his cabin is no other but Captain James T Kirk, as he pulled his tired body into the room.

The dimmed lights gave the room warmth, and as he slipped into his pyjamas, he found his eye lids drooping. He padded into the bathroom and blinked wearily at his reflection as he prepared for bed. He started to feel thankful that Bones had forced him to leave the bridge after fifteen hours of being on duty. Slithering into bed he felt the day's long toil seeping out of his muscles and leaving him heavy and weak. He slid into sleep as easily as a baby and hardly moved from his side, with one arm under his pillow, a small smile gracing his lips.  
The room, programed by Scotty, recognised the change in breathing and slowly dimmed the lights sinking the room into darkness.

First officer Spock rarely gave into his human sides need for a blissful slumber but, on this one occasion he allowed it. Meditation usually left him feeling refreshed but the day had been long and strenuous. His room had never felt so warm, nor his bed so soft. It was illogical to believe that his bed had grown softer due to his drowsiness but that was the way it seemed. He carefully lay on top of his covers and closed his aching eyes. Not long did it take for him to enter REM sleep and he allowed his sub consciousness to take him to distant planets and solar systems. Vulcans don't dream even in sleep but humans do. And so the human Spock shook off its dust and showed him a whole new world.

Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu and Ensign Pavel Chekov where walking back to their cabins. Chekov yawned widely as Sulu mocked him happily. A small debate started between the two of them on whether or not fishing rods were invented in Russia, it was ended by Sulu surrendering to Chekov out of pure humour for the younger man. As they reached their twinned cabins, they bayed each other good night. Sulu walked into his cabin as a whumph from the next cabin signalled Chekov's crash landing on his bed. Smiling he brushed his teeth whilst rubbing at the dark bags under his eyes. Sleep was a good idea and he hadn't had much recently. He poked his head through into the next cabin and chuckled as he saw the Russian already asleep, still in uniform and sprawled across the narrow bed one foot resting lightly on the floor. He retreated to his own bed and curled up in the covers until only his hair was visible in the bundle. He mumbled instructions to the lights and they lowered him into darkness and with one last smile Sulu surrendered to sleep.

Doctor Leonard McCoy was so tired the words on his PADD swam around his brain and knitted themselves together on the screen. Cursing to himself he took another deep swig from his coffee, willing himself to finish the paperwork. The sickbay was almost empty; Christine had gone to a small accident in engineering, meaning a peaceful silence with no distractions. The doctor caught himself nodding off on his desk, and forced himself to stride round the room, rolling his head and swinging his arms. He sat back down and continued working, muttering to himself quietly.  
When Christine returned, supporting a young Lieutenant with a broken leg, she found Doctor McCoy snoring gently at his desk, one hand on his PADD. Depositing the Lieutenant on a bed she removed the PADD and managed to slip a pillow under McCoy's head without disturbing him and then slipped off to bed herself, after stealing one last look at her slumbering CMO.


	6. Our House Part 2

**_sequel chapter to Our House- enter Kirk :P_**

**Our House Chapter Two**

Later that evening McCoy sat in his room at his computer. Suddenly a small box appeared in the corner of his screen. It was from Jim inviting him to a chat. He smiled and accepted, typing his reply:

**You: hello**  
Kirk: Hey Bones how are you?  
**You: fine you? I've finally found myself a decent house.  
**Kirk: Really? Is it any good?  
**You: it's great. Big house, big garden, big rooms. And it's not that far from Starbase. They actually built it for those living between missions.  
**Kirk: sounds good, any roommates…any female room mates who happen to be very attractive and/or single ;)  
**You: just two actually but they are both male**.  
Kirk: oh hahaha any chance you three wouldn't mind becoming four?  
**You: umm what do you mean?  
**Kirk: *sigh* I mean it's v. boring around here so if your palls don't mind I may come down and join you.  
**You: I think they would be thrilled Jim  
**Kirk: great I may pop round first to meet them and see if I can put up with them  
**You: you already know them Jim  
**Kirk: …. I do?  
**You: yup in fact you worked quite closely with them for 5 years!  
**Kirk: … I did...Who?!  
**You: I'm sharing a house with Sulu and Chekov**  
Kirk: … you're kidding me?!  
**You: no Me, Sulu and Chekov are sharing a sub-urban house a few miles from Star Base.**  
Kirk: Now that is cool! Screw next week I'll be there by the weekend!  
**You: I'll warn the lads Jim, best not surprise Chekov. He nearly killed me with a death hug.  
**Kirk: ha-ha bet it was in revenge for all those physicals  
**You: your sympathy is overwhelming Jim as always  
**Kirk: hold on the phones ringing…

**Grinning McCoy leaned back on his chair. A knock at his door revealed Chekov, grinning sheepishly.  
"Yes Chekov" he asked still smiling.  
"I vas making some tea, and vondered if you vanted any. Ve have coffee asvell." He shuddered at the thought. McCoy chuckled and had tea. He watched as the Russian left the room, muttering under his breath about coffee. A beep from his computer alerted him to Jims reply**

Kirk: guess what!  
**You: what?**  
Kirk: great Guess :D anyway Spock's here  
**You: Spock? What do you mean?  
**Kirk: he's gonna live on earth for a while! Omg idea! he can rent a room at your house! Then all three of us will be together again!  
**You: umm ok. Just let me check with Sulu first.**  
Kirk: why just Sulu?  
**You: Chekov is making a cup of tea and god knows what may happen  
**Kirk: point. Well go ask.  
**You: fine I'm going.  
**

Leonard darted downstairs and found Sulu in the living room sipping a cup of coffee. He quickly explained his conversation with Kirk.  
"yeah let them come Doc, the more the merrier. If we fill the rooms we all pay less rent anyway." Sulu grinned "I'll tell Chekov though"  
"yeah good idea" McCoy laughed gratefully " and we really need to sort out this name business" Sulu nodded and Leonard hurried back to his room to tell Kirk.

**You: all clear. If you book the rooms now no one can nick them.  
**Kirk: great. I'll tell Spock I've found him somewhere to stay (he's bunking at the academy at the moment)  
**You: ok see you soon then  
**Kirk: ok probably by the weekend. Bye.  
**you: bye.**

McCoy grinned and leaned back on his chair rubbing his hands together. This will be _fun_!


	7. I Apologise

**hey sorry it has been a while but i have been very tired recently. even i dont know what has happened here so just follow it best you can. i have two more on the way so hopefuly it will pick up x thanks to all who have reviewed it is so awsome to find people actualy care enough to tell me im ok :)**

**I Apologise**

This area of Russia was quite beautiful; Kirk had to admit, with its clean air and tiny village on the distance, looking like a toy town.  
He had decided to find Chekov with the aid of Sulu and McCoy after the boy had vanished once landing on earth, without Kirk even being able to apologise. They had pulled over just outside the village, where Chekov had grown up, and the sun was shining, illuminating the icy foggy fields that surrounded them. A footpath was almost visible cutting through the closest field but soon vanished into the fog. Sulu had told Kirk everything he knew about the village and persuaded him to leave the car on the outskirts of the village and walk the rest of the way, to avoid standing out too much.  
He felt McCoy's hand on his shoulder and turned to where his friend was pointing. A few meters away the fog was shifting; a lone figure running at a high speed through the field. As it grew closer the figures features became more definable, floppy brown hair bouncing behind him as he ran. As he became recognisable he turned to look behind him as sounds of pursuit became clearer.

Chekov ran. It was something that he had always been good at and serving on the Enterprise had honed the skill to a fine art. He could see a small group waiting for him just off the path. He swore, they were probably some of Jakala's cronies. He stole a glance behind him and stumbled on a rock. Attempting to maintain his balance he tripped and rolled, leaping neatly to his feet and into a defensive stance as he faced the group of four. He looked into a pair of bemused hazel eyes and, for a second, wondered why the fight had not begun.

Kirk looked down at the bedraggled Russian before him, fists raised as if to fight. He clearly did not recognise them out of uniform. He watched as the boy slowly lowered his fists and took a proper look at his 'opponents'.  
Suddenly realisation dawned on his face and he stood to attention stiffly. Kirk sighed, this was not going to be easy, Chekov obviously did not want to see him.  
"Keptin, vat an unexpected appearance." He peered around to the others "and Doctor McCoy. Hikaru take zem to ze house, I'll be right vith you I just haw a leetle problem I need to sort out." A muffled shout from the mist spurred him on and he darted around the corner and into the next field.  
The group turned to Sulu who was shaking his head at his friends retreating back.  
"More than a little problem Pav" he muttered as a herd of burly Russian men stormed past. He indicated for them to follow him and he led them into the village. McCoy was very amused to find that most of the inhabitants knew Sulu and stopped to talk to him in fractured English. After stopping for what felt like the eighteenth time Sulu turned to them, his face grim.  
"I know about Pavel's 'Little problem' apparently four other men from the village attempted to get into Starfleet but only Pav got in. so when he got back from serving on the _Enterprise_ no less he got a very specific welcome home party. He has been avoiding them all week." Kirk just stared back at him, stunned that people could be so petty.  
Sulu turned and carried on walking until a large house made of a grey stone reared up in front of them. They followed as he ran up the steps and knocked on the huge glass doors and opened them  
"Pappy?" he called into the wooden hall "Pappy are you there?"  
a man appeared from another room and ran up to Sulu grinning.  
"Hikaru my boy how are you?" he asked pulling him into a hug. "And who are your friends? Do come in Pavels just… well fighting from the sounds of it"

The man led them into a spacious room with two large sofas and several book cases. He indicated for them to sit and leaned back into his own cushions  
"so" he started once everyone was sat down "tell me who your friends are Hikaru"  
"well Pappy, this is Captain Kirk and doctor McCoy. They have come to talk to Pav" Pappy smiled and nodded to the two men.  
" I am Pavels father but you can call me Pappy, everyone else does" Kirk suddenly felt an overwhelming need to explain to the man why he was here.  
"sir, I have come to apologise to Chekov. I wronged him on the Enterprise and…"  
"could this be" Pappy interrupted "to do with a certain Klingon threat, a court martial date set for one months' time and a young woman named Helotinina?" He looked at all three bewildered faces before him and laughed  
"yes Pavel was rather distraught when he arrived home. He felt he had lost a large amount of friends and of course the atmosphere at home has not done him much good." He nodded gravely and Kirk put his head in his hands. pappy started to speak once more but was interrupted when Chekov walked in and passed to his father, ignoring his crew mates.  
he muttered something in Russian and turned to the group revealing several deep cuts and a black eye.  
"I must apologise for not staying to chat but as you could see I vas busy." Sulu smiled and nodded as McCoy crossed the room and scanned the cuts and bruises. Chekov merely sighed and allowed the doctor to fuss, turning to his captain. Recognising the invitation to speak, Kirk rose from his seat and walked to stand next to McCoy, looking the boy in his eyes. He was hurt to find that the usual warmth and humour was exchanged for distrust and hostility.  
"Chekov I am deeply sorry for not believing you and acting against you in that manner, without thinking of how it would affect you and your reputation. I should have realised by then that you would not betray any of us or gone against our orders. I was so stupid to have not realised that you were right and that Helotinina was spying for the Klingons and just using us all like puppets. I have already gone to Starfleet and removed your name from the court martial list and they are out searching for Helotinina. I am honestly really sorry Chekov and even if you did not forgive me please forgive McCoy and Spock and everyone. I am honestly ashamed of how I treated you and how much you must have suffered." Kirk was aware that he was rambling and stopped looking for any sign that his apology was having an effect. Chekov narrowed his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, looking at first Kirk then McCoy. Sulu had managed to worm his way out of the room, taking Pappy with him. McCoy was looking at his feet and Kirk was looking genuinely sorry. Chekov ginned and pulled them both into a tight hug.  
"I forgive you both" he laughed and they both hugged him back, relief flooding kirks body. He wasn't sure if he would have forgiven himself faced this that apology.  
James T Kirks hardest mission was over.


	8. Our House Part 3

**Heyy :) Our House is back and imagain it is further on than last time, if you know what i mean.**

Our House Part 3

Within a month the rooms of the house had been filled; and all by members of the Enterprise crew. Scotty had been the last to join them, taking the final room for himself and his machinery and everyone had fallen into a peaceful, friendly atmosphere. It had been awkward at first when Kirk and Spock moved in, but any tension had relaxed.

A yelp and a crash made Leonard look up from his book  
"Are you ok?" he called out into the hallway. He was answered by a groan.  
"Da. My head hurts though"  
"Is there any blood?" there was a pause.  
"Nyet, no blood"  
"How many stairs was it this time?" McCoy relaxed back into the sofa, Pavel Chekov must be one of the clumsiest people he had ever met.  
"None I tripped over Jim's motorbike" Pavel walked into the living room, rubbing his head. "Leonard vhy did he leave it in ze hallvay, ve have a garage no?" Leonard shrugged and walked over to check the Russian forehead.  
"God knows Pavel" he sighed "if it isn't Hikaru leaving his damned plants around the house, its Spock with his infernal logic or Jim with his girls, or even you bumping or breaking things where ever you go! And know we have Scotty blowing up his room every 10 minutes!" Pavel grinned as Leonard ranted then excused himself to go in search of Hikaru.

Humming to himself he navigated past the stricken bike and into the kitchen where Spock was stirring a bubbling pan of porridge.  
"Morning Spock" he said, nodding to the Vulcan who turned and watched him pull on his wellys **[1]**  
"Good morning Pavel"  
Greetings over he turned back to his meal as Pavel slipped out of the back door.

He wandered down the path to his chicken run (the fenced off area that Leonard saw out of his window in the beginning) and checked on his hens. He was very proud of his birds, who were deep black in colour and pecking around happily. One wandered over to him and cocked its head to see if he was carrying any scraps.  
"Доброе утро красивое. Как поживаешь?" the chicken let out a low clucking and pecked at his wellys. Pavel laughed and picked her up, stroking her glossy back, as Hikaru arrived at the bars.  
"Flirting with the chickens again Pav?" he laughed as he watched his friend lower the hen to the floor "which one it she again?" **[2]**  
"Thursday. And no I vas not flirting I vas merely inquiring after her health." He leaned on the bars as Hikaru pushed a hand full of roots into the run. They watched in silence as the small animals devoured the offerings.  
"They have odd names. What's the name of the one who's expecting chicks?"  
"Oh you mean Penguin? And zer names are not odd Hikaru zey all have meanings"  
"Right. So why Thursday? Why Penguin?" Hikaru poked his friend who smiled at the teasing  
"Thursday is so named because she vas bought on a Thursday and Penguin has vight markings like a Penguin"  
"ahh ok 'coz that makes sense, what about the others?" Hikaru replied lazily,  
"Kiev, because of chicken Kiev and Therefore because zen I can say Therefore- a Chicken!"  
Hikaru chuckled at his friend and looked around the garden  
"you haven't seen Jim this morning have you? Only I have those flowers he asked for"

Pavel shook his head and left the run, as a large explosion rattled the house. They both turned and focused and Scotty's room, which jutted out over the garden. Sure enough the window was unceremoniously thrown open and black smoke poured into the sky. Two faces appeared at the window and Scotty could be heard yelling "I told ya she'd blow Jimmy dinni say I didn't warn ya." They both sighed, Leonard was gonna be livid, it was only last week they had cleaned the landing till it was free of blast marks and stains, although that was admittedly at Pavel's insistence.  
"Wanna go watch?" Hikaru asked and they wandered back to the house "who do you reckon Leonard will blame this time?"  
"Probably Scotty, Jim, or Spock" Pavel guessed watching the receding smoke  
"why would he blame Spock?"  
"Vell he vas in ze house at the time…and because he can"  
"true" Sulu nodded as Leonards voice echoed out of the backdoor.  
"DAMN IT GUYS I'M A DOCTOR NOT A BLEEDIN' HOUSE REPARE MAN!"

**[1] **I don't know what you call them but in my area we call Wellington Boots Wellys. I apologise for any confusion but I put wellys anyway.

**[2] ** the chickens are all based on my own little birds. yes they are acting as themsellves and they are their true names :)


	9. A Nutcase On Board

**Hey don't even ask where this one came from because i dont even know! just pretend that kirk hasnt met Chekov yet...that is all i think :) thank you to all of you who have reviewed i love you forever and ever, you will not believe how exited i get when i receave a review!**

**A Nutcase On Board**

"Jim you have hired a nutcase."  
"good evening Bones how are you? Me? I'm fine! So kind of you to ask" Kirk smiled as his friend dropped into the seat next to him in the rec room.  
"Hahaha" McCoy scowled "I mean it! The boy is crazy, I don't think I have met anyone odder!" Kirk frowned and faced the grumbling doctor.  
"Bones do you mind identifying this guy before you grumble?"  
"you know very well who. That Russian lad you hired to be your navigator. He has just left sickbay after entering with a broken arm. I tell you he is flying on cloud 9 half the time"  
"Chekov? Why what did he do?" Kirk's eyes drifted to a group of giggling women across the room.  
"What did he do?! Well he only attempted to jump over a shuttle craft didn't he? Ran up a slope and jumped…only he didn't think about his landing, snapped his arm clean in two." McCoy accepted the drink that was pushed towards him and noted, with some satisfaction, the disbelief on the captain's face.  
"_He jumped a Shuttle Craft?"  
"_yup worst was he was laughing when he walked in" Kirk shook his head. The boy had only been on the ship for two days and during that he hadn't seen the young man other than on the bridge.  
"Trust me Jim ask anyone. The boy is an eccentric!" a smile creped over kirks face.  
"This I have to see"  
"just hang around him enough and you will"

Kirk had his first dose of oddity from the newest crew member on the bridge the next day. Luckily for him it was only a very small dose.  
"Ensign what's that behind your ear?" Kirk had been staring at the strange object protruding from the boy's floppy hair for the last five minutes…it had feet. A look of pure confusion covered the boy's face as he felt for the offending item. He pulled it out and stared at it for a few moments before grinning and holding it up for his captain to see.  
"It iz a mini Lego Storm Trooper Keptin." Silence shrouded the bridge as everyone stared at the navigator.  
"Uh. Why?" was all Kirk could manage in the face of such blunt honesty.  
"Vell I stood on it in my quarter's zis morning and had no time to put it avay so I put it behind my ear and forgot about it." Silence descended again punctuated only by a snort of laughter from Sulu.  
"Oh…kay." Kirk said slowly "next time just put it away anyway yeah?"  
"Aye Keptin" the Russian replaced the Lego figure behind his ear and returned to his panel.

At the end of the shift Kirk jogged ahead to catch up with Chekov.  
"Chekov I forgot to ask you something" the boy turned to him wide eyed "why did you have a Lego thingy anyway?"  
A lopsided grin filled the boy's face.  
"Vhy for ze films Keptin, nowv please excuze me I hawve an appointment in sick bay" the boy walked off leaving his captain more confused than ever.

Kirk saw Chekov the following morning at breakfast. The navigator was sat with Sulu and Uhura who were staring at the boy with rapt attention. Avoiding Chekov's gestating arm he sat down with his tray and listened to the excited babble.  
"…Zen he said vhy, vhy vould you do zis to me? And zen, you vill newer guess, she claimed zat it vas the kangaroo and he vas ze von zat killed her one true lowve!" the boy looked at his audience for a response.  
Sulu cleared his throat "umm. I would have never guessed that is was a kangaroo but maybe you had better lay off the cheese mate."  
Chekov nodded enthusiastically and turned his attention to his meal. Kirk leaned over to Sulu.  
"What was all that about?" the Asian man grinned and whispered back  
"His dream Captain. He has really mixed up dreams and can't cope with not sharing them."  
"Oh…kay" Chekov's head snapped up  
"vhy are you vispering? Iz zer a secret? Oh. Iz it about Meester Spock's birthday?"  
Spock's birthday? Kirk wondered. The kid had not even been aboard a week yet he knew when Spock's birthday was?

How was the ship going to cope with a nutcase like Chekov? Kirk tried not to think about it and just nodded, diverting the now resumed babble onto another subject.

God help us!


	10. Flow

**right guys this has been uploaded from my new kindle so blame any errors on that. it has been inspired by a game that i have an addiction to so without any further ado I give you Flow.**

* * *

Flow

Spock was amazed at the sight that met him as he entered the rec room. Crew members were shouting and credits were exchanging hands as a young lieutenant chalked numbers on a large board. Sat at a table amongst the throngs, two young men with PADD s were staring each other out. This was evidently a large competition with lots of betting. But then again everything on the Enterprise had bets encircling it. Taking a deep breath Spock drew himself up and glided through the crowds. He reached the table and attracted the attention of a competitor who turned out to be one ensign Chekov. The boy smiled and waved his PADD at the Vulcan.  
"Hello Mr Spock. Hawe you come to vatch the match?"  
"I have. May I inquire as to the details of this `match`? I am unaware of many human customs such as" he gestured to the PADD and surrounding humans "...this." he received a warm smile from the Russian who promptly explained the rules of his match. It turned out that a 21st century game named Flow had grasped the Enterprise crew and they were on the search for the Flow champion. Chekov and Warrant were in the final. Someone blew a whistle and everyone fell to silence. Spock looked up in disguised surprise as the captain clambered onto the table between the two finalists.  
"It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all to the grand final of the Enterprise Flow Championship. You have competed well but now we shall have our champion. Ensign Chekov and Lieutenant Warrant prepare your PADD s. You shall have two minutes to complete as many randomly generated levels as you can. Your Time Starts Now!"  
Kirk started a large timer and stepped down from the table as the two finalists began their race. He spotted Spock and pushed his way towards him.  
"Hey Spock I didn't expect to see you here"  
"That is to be expected captain as I was not planning to attend this activity, until I was assured by the good doctor, that I would have no peace later this week unless I knew about the `match`." Kirk nodded sagely and watched the competitor's fingers flying across the PADD s.  
"Captain may I inquire as to what exactly this Flow is?"  
"Sure Spock. Basically your screen is filled with a squared table covered with coloured dots. The aim is to connect matching dots. To make it harder no connection can overlap."  
"I see. It is a highly illogical game to turn into a competition." Kirk chuckled ruefully and stepped back onto the table.  
"All right time is up take your hands away from the PADD s.!" The two men slumped back in their chairs, red faced, as the PADD s were removed by Kirk.  
"OK guys we have a winner with 54 complete levels and a loser with 50 levels. And the winner is..." Spock resisted rolling his eyes as Kirk dragged out the silence "Ensign Pavel Chekov!" The Russian leapt to his feet, punching the air in triumph whilst Warrant put his head in his hands. Chekov walked round the table and put his hand on the older man's shoulder. "Hey no hard feelings da?" Warrant looked up and smiled "no hard feelings my arse next time your going down you little squirt" but he shook Chekov s hand all the same. Spock watched as credits were lost and gained and Chekov was congratulated on his win. What escaped everyone's notice was a young Asian helmsman leaving the room with a small fortune. Spock smiled lightly. Best friends should always have faith in each other. Possibly in Sulu s case a little too much faith.


	11. Our House Part 4- Snow

**Sorry it took so long guy's but my laptop had an allergic reaction to word and wouldn't let me access my files. I have now fixed it and present this to you as an apology. (This was meant to go up around Christmas when England finally had snow!**)

**Snow**

Spock awoke to the sound of...laughter? Surely not? He lay in his bed listening acutely to the noises being emitted from outside. His sensitive ears immediately picked up a gawf that was most certainly Scotty followed by a high pitched yelp, this was then echoed by others. Mentally rolling his eyes Spock glanced at the clock by his bedside and inwardly groaned. It was 5 o'clock in the morning and goodness knew what his house mates were up to. He froze as a thump signaled the landing of an object on his bedroom window. He listened again but was rewarded with a deathly silence. Then a jolt of laughter that was undoubtedly Jim. Once again the noise grew and Spock eased himself out of the bed and padded to the window. Twitching aside the blind he was presented with a view that made the corners of his stern mouth sneak upwards.  
Pavel, Hikaru and Leonard were crouched behind an upturned table as Jim and Scotty bombarded them with what appeared to be small white balls. All were wrapped in thick clothing and wooly hats. Pavel in particular was sporting a traditional Russian winter hat in a very non traditional rainbow pattern. Then it dawned Spock that the whole garden was coated with a thick blanket of white. He watched, fascinated, as on a nod, Pavel, Hikaru, and Leonard rolled across the floor and open fired with identical round balls they had forged from the ground. Scotty and Jim fell under the onslaught whilst the others pressed in on them laughing and shouting. Allowing the blind to fall Spock changed and headed down stairs and into the kitchen. Someone had made the old earth breakfast of porridge and left his bowl full of a thick steaming substance, littered with what he believed to be Brown sugar and apple slices. He carried his bowl to the tabled and began to eat. Half way through his meal he had ignored countless balls hitting the window and several sworn oaths of revenge in English, Scottish (it may as well have been another language), Russian and Japanese. He scraped the bowl clean and opened the back door to the garden. He was immediately hit in the face with a powdery and cold substance. The humans froze in their snowy game and stared in horror at the Vulcan standing in the door way slowly dripping snow. Spock slowly shook his head to remove the snow and looked at his companions.  
"Gentlemen I was wondering if you may be able to keep your sound emissions to under 100 decibels, seeing as it is still within the early hours of the morning and you seem to be far too excited to return to sleep?" A chorus of ayes and sounds of agreements greeted him and he began to shut the door. But just before he could Leonard stepped forward and hurled a ball of snow at Spock, hitting him square on the chest.  
"Your action was highly illogical Leonard." Spock retorted dusting the icy mess from his shirt.  
"Illogical yes Spock but highly enjoyable." The doctor smirked at him, light blue eyes twinkling with mischief.  
"Indeed Leonard but I recommend you retake in a match against someone of your calibre. A human infant perhaps as that is how you appear to be behaving?" Satisfied with the shocked looks he received he closed the door and felt himself warming up. He hadn't realised how cold it was out there and wondered what humans saw in playing in such extreme weather circumstances.


	12. My Book

**Well this did not turn out the way i planned and no amount of re readingand cups of tea will let me make it perfect (in my mind). I want to take the time to thank all my wonderful reviewers! When ever i get a new review i get such a buzz its a fantstic feeling :) anyway on with the show...**

* * *

**My Book**

It was bound to happen at some point, Kirk thought to himself, as he picked up a small leather book from the floor, its owner disappearing around the corner oblivious to their loss. The kid did insist on wearing that satchel when off duty even though it was mostly thread bare. And now look. A scruffy black leather booklet was in the hands of the captain, although it could have been anyone! Kirk examined the book closely, hoping it may just be a novel he could persuade his navigator to lend him. The binding however looked ready to crack and the cover was burned and scratched. It had no blurb and Kirk felt an unnecessary anger welling up in him that this book had been treated with such disrespect. He leaned against the wall and looked around sheepishly. No one would notice if he had a quick peek inside, just to make sure the pages were not damaged to the extent of the cover of course. He licked a finger and turned to the first page.

However instead of the title or even first chapter as he had expected he was slapped in the face with a detailed drawing of the Enterprise. Eyes wide Kirk examined the image closely to make sure it was not a photograph (an ancient method of capturing images to be viewed on screens or prints out on paper). Assured that it had in fact been drawn he turned the page over. He was greeted by an intricate drawing of lieutenant Uhura. She was smiling happily, her dark hair twisting and falling around her face, her eyes sparkling with laughter. It was beautiful. Around the drawing were words, but not words Kirk could read as the native tongue of the artist was Russian, pulling Kirk back to remembering that the book was in fact lost property of Chekov. Needless to say Kirk turned the page, just to make sure, and was shocked to find himself starring back at him. The drawing of himself was smiling gently one hand running through his hair the other on the shoulder of a frowning doctor McCoy. The doctor had his arms folded and was scowling yet seemed to be happy enough. Once again they were set against a background of words and symbols, all which must have meant something to Chekov. Kirk breath caught as he saw a word he recognised. Family. She flicked back to the portrait of Uhura and spotted the word again.

A deep guilt entered his heart as he realised how close to spying on the ensign s private life he was. Looking at these spectacular images and attempting to translate the meanings of the surrounding words felt akin to reading a diary. Taking a deep breath he snapped the book shut and tucked it under his arm. He marched off down the corridor in the direction the boy had taken not that long earlier. Not even half way down he was nearly run over by his quarry who was dragging a confused lieutenant Sulu back down the corridor. The ensign was nearly hysterical, repeatedly searching his bag and the floor all whilst yelling to Sulu in russian. Kirk caught the boy by his shoulders and silently handed over the book. Relief flooded Chekov's face as he clutched at the cracked leather and quickly flicked through it. He shook Kirks hand repeatedly thanking him over and over again. The sight must have been too much for Sulu who was laughing at his friend before rescuing his captain from the, admittedly bone-crushing, grip of the Russian.

"So umm Mr Chekov what exactly is the book?" Kirk asked innocently as the said man pocketed the small object.

"Oh iz nothing Keptin just a silly doodle book. How ewer I vould hate to lose it...holds memories of ewents and vhatnot zat hawe taken place. I tank joo once again for returning it to me, many vould not hawe respected privacy." Kirk's stomach clenched at the last part and simply nodded in understanding before creating an excuse to leave.

* * *

A week later Kirk sat at a chair in the rec room and reclined lazily to watch his crew. Scotty and McCoy were in a heated discussion whilst Spock and Uhura poured over a sheet of paper. What was interesting though was that Sulu was chatting easily with Lieutenant Riley and was without his normal partner in crime. Kirk scanned the room in an attempt to spot the younger crew member. At last hazel eyes settled on a form, sat hunched over a familiar black leather book, floppy brown hair covering his face. The captain eased himself out of his chair and slowly wandered over to the figure. Chekov did not seem to notice the presence of his captain and was absorbed in his latest sketching. Kirk stopped at a distance that would allow him to see the page without disturbing the boy. He was vaguely pleased to see the stern form of a familiar Vulcan appearing slowly on the paper. Chekov was exact in his lines yet his pencil was no longer than his thumb. A tunic appeared on Spock, similar to one he had been sporting at a recent diplomatic party on Vulcan. In fact after a few minutes of careful shading it looked identical. Kirk had not realised how far he had crept forward until Chekov yelped, slamming the book shut and spinning to look at his captain. Instead of the anger Kirk had expected he was shocked to see panic and guilt was across the boy's face.

"Keptin! Umm look I ken explain!" Kirk raised his hands to stop Chekov's upcoming apologies and explanations. He carefully explained that Chekov was doing nothing wrong. The navigator visibly relaxed but tensed as Kirk continued.

"However I would like to see what you have drawn. I do not demand it but I see you have a talent none of us knew about." Chekov hesitated before handing his book over. Kirk smiled and slipped into the chair next to the Russian. He studied the first three images, pretending to be surprised at the one of him and McCoy. By this time Chekov had warmed into the situation and pointed out tidbits about the images. For example the one of Kirk and McCoy was from the beginning of Chekov's joining of the crew shortly after one of Sulu's plants had eaten McCoy's hypospray. Kirk chuckled at the memory. The next page revealed a grubby looking Scotty with his arms piled with machinery and his face covered with oil. This was apparently from when Chekov had gotten lost and first met Scotty face to face. Kirk looked at each and every image, marvelling at the detail and pure talent it took to produce the drawings. His overall favourite image was one drawn from imagination. It was of all the bridge crew together around the captain's chair. Kirk was in the chair, legs crossed and grinning with Spock on his left and McCoy on his right. Both were smiling (or in Spock's case raising an eyebrow). Uhura was leaning on the back of the chair and was laughing happily. Sulu and Chekov himself were seated crossed legged at Kirk 's feet arms round each other's shoulders and Scotty was stood next to McCoy, one arm round the doctors shoulders and a definite oily hand print was on McCoy's shoulder. Chekov had added colour to this one and it could have been a photograph. It also had a single title instead of a background of words. When Kirk inquired to its meaning a blushing Chekov replied.

"Meeting as friends, together as a family".

It was as a pleasant (if not slightly tearful) surprise that for his birthday, Kirk received a large framed image almost identical to the one he liked only with an English title and everyone, including Spock, were wearing their uniform shirts that had been signed by each crew member on the drawing. Only the image of Kirk was without a signature and instead wore a shirt that wished him a 'very happy Birthday'. Naturally it became one of his prized possessions.


	13. Where Has He Gone?

**Now. This is a story of Chekov being a bit of a Bamf! I wrote it on my kindle which regects half my start trek names and words (and some normal words) so if you see any mistakes please tell me :) for the klingon names i just used a load of letters with apostraphes so bear with it :) And a HUGE COOKIE AND THANKYOU to ZenaraTheDragon for your continued support through out this...what ever it is :D**

**Where are you?**

Captain Kirks grin was beginning to irritate the Klingon leader. The plan had gone well, their ship decloaking before the Enterprise, several of their men beaming to and from the bridge of the ship and capturing the majority of the main crew. The majority being the key word. According to S'rel'kor (his now ex chief of security) the navigator had escaped and lead the rest of his men on a merry goose chase around the ship. In fury he had more men beam over to round up the rest of the crew and put them in the Enterprise's brigs. That had been 2 hours ago.  
Gar'sklix turned to his shackled prisoners with a snarl. He pointed to who he recognised as the pilot, the man was shoved forward his head bowed. As he watched, the man's shoulders shook with suppressed laughter.  
"Tell me where this navigator will be" he snapped forcing the man's face up. Hikaru Sulu looked at the furious Klingon, amusement in his eyes.  
"How am I meant to know? He could be anywhere!" He chuckled again as he was shoved back to the group.  
Gar'sklix span on his heel and barked commands at his bridge team.

* * *

Meanwhile Chekov was crouching in a Jeffreys tube watching the door to the transporter room. Behind him two Klingon lay on a ladder, unconscious or dead he wasn't sure and didn't care. He absentmindedly dabbed at a cut on his forehead that was slowly trickling blood into his eye. He was quite proud of his escape. When the Klingons had beamed onto the ship and he had dodged the oncoming would-be kidnappers and darted into the turbo lift just as he saw his crewmates disappear in a golden twinkling light. He hit the switch to make the turbo lift lurch into life and sank against the wall thinking furiously. He had snuck around the ship and found a phaser bank to arm himself with. Logically, he thought, the only reason to take them all and not just the Captain, Mr Spock or doctor McCoy would be for hostage situations or to sell on the prize federation command crew to anyone in need of that particular lever. If so they would begin searching for him, after all why leave the set incomplete? That's when he remembered the communicators. If he could somehow lock the transporter onto their signals he could beam them back on to the ship. That is if the Klingon hadn't removed the communicators but he hoped against hope that his disappearance had distracted them too much to remember. And that was how he had ended up squatting in a Jeffreys tube waiting for a Klingon to leave the room. He sighed and shifted his weight slightly, absentmindedly whacking a recovering Klingon over the head with his phaser knocking him unconscious again.

* * *

Spock could not see what his human companions were finding so amusing about their situation. They were being held on a Klingon war ship as prisoners whilst the rest of the Enterprise had been rounded up to flush out a stubbornly hidden Mr Chekov. The situation was less than amusing. He also wasn't sure he liked the way the nearest Klingon was looking at lieutenant Uhura. But thinking about it she could fight back as well as any of them. His shackles had begun to rub at his wrists leaving a dark green bruise to appear around the edges of the metal. He inwardly sighed at the humans illogical behaviour and allowed his eyes to wander over the panels. He settled on the security screen which appeared to show the health of the Klingons currently aboard the Enterprise. He raised an eyebrow as a large red sign appeared over one monitor. It read, he believed, terminated. Mr Chekov must be on the move, he thought, and a small amount of admiration flickered in him as he thought of the young boy sneaking around a ship whilst being hunted by irritate Klingons.

However Chekov had found the flaw to his plan. Even if he got the crew back, he had no idea how many Klingons had transported onto the ship. The place could be crawling with them! He muttered to himself angrily and stepped out of the tube. He would have to hope for the best. He padded down the corridor towards the nearest phaser bank, quietly taking out three more Klingons. After all the Captain and everyone will need weapons. Once he had gathered his weapons he crept back to the transporter room and took a deep breath. He then ran into the room and fired at the lone Klingon guarding the station. Satisfied that he wasn't going to be attacked by the slumped figure, Chekov looked over the panels. His heart slept when he found that he could lock onto 6 human forms thanks to the communicators. The shields would still be down for transporting he mused as he slid the last controller into place. He was greeted with the musical sound of transporter beams.

* * *

Gar'sklix turned when he heard the unmistakable sound of a transporter. He screamed in fury as his prisoners vanished in a final shimmer of gold.

* * *

Kirk looked around him when he materialized on the pad. His hands were still bound but he was back on the Enterprise and looking at a grinning Chekov behind the control board. He laughed as the Russian trotted forward and neatly cut through his shackles with a phaser before turning to the others. When they were released Chekov explained the situation since they had gone and stood back to let Kirk take over. He motioned for them to follow him mind still reeling from the sight of Chekov. The kid had evidently had a few close calls and his nose was defiantly broken. They made their way stealthily but hurriedly to the bridge. Spock had quiet rightly pointed out the probability of the Klingons firing on the ship in retaliation to the rescue and the shield were still very low. They took down several more Klingons by the turbo lift and all crammed inside. When the door slid open again they poured into the bridge and took the intruders by surprise. The trespassers didn't stand a chance. Sulu and Chekov soon had the shield raised just as Uhura reported an incoming transmission from the Klingon ship.  
"Put it on screen lieutenant"  
Gar'sklix appeared on the view screen is, his face contorted with pure fury. He shot a look of pure venom at Chekov's direction. The navigator gave him a beaming smile on return.  
"You shall pay for your actions. You all shall" he roared thumping his chair. On a muttered command from Kirk Sulu alerted Scotty to prepare the weapons.  
"And you shall answer to the federation for kidnapping and a breach of the treaty" Kirk replied smoothly swinging his chair from side to side.  
The Klingon open fired, making the Enterprise lurch slightly. On order Chekov fired back, happily realizing that the enemy still had their shields down. A sphere of blue light hit the Klingon's engine room and the ship vanished in a blast of white light. Kirk smirked and turned to Chekov  
"Well then Chekov...Well done and thank you. Now go and see doctor McCoy about those injuries."  
"Aye Keptin." Kirk watched the boy leave and span to Spock  
"Don't I have an AWSOME crew Mr Spock?"  
Spock regarded his captain wondering about his chose of words.  
"Indeed captain" was his dry reply.


	14. Mirror Mirror Chekov

**Just thought I would try my hand at a Mirror Mirror fic. Just tell me if you are disturbed in anyway and I will not write anymore of these I promise ****. Thanking you for yummy reviews again. **

Ensign Chekov snuck down the corridor, eyes darting from left to right as he looked for opposition. His quarters were not far away but he knew better to saunter towards them in the gloom. It would be a death wish. Many of the other crew members had been furious that he had gained the post of Chief Navigator at the remarkable age of 22 and had attempted to bump him off the list. He grinned as he recollected the yeoman who had tried this last night.

* * *

He had awoken to the sounds of someone trying very hard not to make a noise. Not moving he had let his eyes roam the room. Whoever the intruder was they had artfully dodged the wire snares and tack pins hidden within the carpet (Chekov enjoyed seeing the pain such a simple device could cause). He had shifted his position on the bed to allow his hand to slip below the pillow and heard somebody freeze. In a flash of silver his hand had darted out from the pillow and sank a sharp knife into a body. Even his acute hearing wasn't challenged to pick up the small gasp that was emitted. He retracted the knife, giving it a quick twist as he did so. The body collapsed with a thud followed by the clatter of an agoniser and he called to the computer to raise the lights. In the now brightened room he identified the gasping body. He stood and leaned over the hapless body of Lieutenant Lovell, his young face twisted with an evil sneer.  
"I vould be merciful to you Lovell and kill you know if zis vas your first attempt to kill me. However it iz not." He removed the man's golden sash and tied it round the wound, preventing the blood flow. He then picked his way over to the intercom. Lovell twigged onto his plan and began begging the young Russian for his death. Chekov ignored him and flicked the switch.  
"Ensign Chekov to sickbay."  
"Doctor McCoy here what is it Ensign? I don't do house calls."  
"It iz Lieutenant Lowell Sir. He has had…a leetle accident." There was a small pause as the doctor thought about the unspoken proposition.  
"Right I will send one of the boys down to…help him"  
"Thank you Doctor I tink the Lieutenant vill be in need of your professional assistance."  
"Understood. Sickbay out."  
The prone man on the floor paled as the ensign had withdrawn his knife again.

* * *

The doctor had been pleased; Lovell had been a perfect blood donor, organ donor and lab rat. Chekov was happy to help. He slipped into his quarters after one last glance around the deserted corridor. He grinned at the large red stain on his carpet.


	15. Dare You

**i feel this is a tad rubbish but i am suffering from writters block and this is in my waiting list so enjoy :)**

**Dare You**

"Dare you"  
"No"  
"Double dare you"  
"No"  
"Fine. As a ranking officer I order you"  
"Humph. Fine"  
Chekov looked at the small cups of coffee laid out before him. He picked one up and sniffed it, recoiling slightly at the pungent aroma and looked at Sulu hopefully. Sulu however smiled smugly and leaned back in his chair shaking his head. Closing his eyes Chekov gulped back the double espresso and retched at the bitter aftertaste.  
"One down 14 more to go Pav" Sulu said pushing another cup at his wide eyed friend. he watched happily as Chekov drank 3 more cups and shuddered as he reached for a fifth, when captain Kirk wandered up behind them.  
"Is this another dare then lads?" he asked grinning at Chekov's repulsed face. Sulu nodded but told his captain that it was also an experiment, to check the effects large doses of caffeine can have on an unprepared body. Kirk simply sighed and wandered off to warn everyone about a possibly hype Chekov that could be roaming the decks later that day.  
"Come on then drink up" Sulu said poking Chekov's arm  
"I am, I am It just tastes horrible. It iz like" Chekov searched for a suitable word "mud! Wery nasty mud" he sighed and downed another cup and sniggered when Sulu sighed.

Uhura slowly banged her head on the table whilst Scotty downed yet another scotch. Chekov was still chattering away, lapsing into Russian before returning to a garbled mess that could only be described at English. He giggled and sank backwards in his chair, patting Uhura's head gently whilst Sulu received several death looks from the others. McCoy finally left the table with the determined look of a man who was definitely blocking caffeine from a certain ensign's diet card. Oblivious Chekov giggled again.


	16. SeatBelts

**Dedicated to my Friend Rachel who helped me brew this thought. Clearly Seatbelts are a forgotten invention in the 23****rd**** century! So I brought them back for my slightly cracky chapter. And wow 27 Reviews! That's more than I have ever had (4)! Thank you to everyone that had reviewed and can I ask a question? I have just received twin blocked retainers and they make me speak funny and then I though...hmmm what is a crew member was given like a speech impediment or something? I need help in deciding who it would be though. If you have any ideas leave it to me in a review or Pm me **** now on with the show…..**

**Seatbelts**

'By Demand of Starfleet Command, any and all crew members on the Bridge of the Enterprise are to wear the newly installed Seat belts to prevent their never ending aero-gymnastics when the ship is hit'

The bridge crew looked once at the material straps, then at the captain and then at each other. Kirk simply shrugged and poked the seat belt as if it should do something. He snuck a glance at Spock who was already seated, seat belt strapped across his left shoulder and clipped into place at his right hip. Slowly Kirk lowered himself into his chair, keenly aware that everyone was watching him. 'How did Spock know how to use seatbelts?' He though furiously. 'They haven't been used for centuries!' he grabbed the grey strap and pulled it across his body. One more sneaky look at Spock confirmed his actions to be correct. With a satisfying CLICK the metal part slotted into the holder. Kirk took his hands away and looked at the strange devise. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged at the crew who copied him. Uhura primly fitted herself in after getting the strap twisted; Chekov simply couldn't find his until Kirk pointed it out to him and Sulu ended up wrapped in a seemingly never ending pool of belt. Kirk unclipped himself and helped the helmsman who was blushing furiously.  
"I feel like I am being strangled" Uhura mumbled pulling at her grey strap that insisted on resting on her neck.  
"Keptin, Klingon Bird of Prey de-cloaking" Chekov called effectively stopping all complaints about the seat belts.  
"Only fire if they fire Mr Chekov. Mr Sulu evasive maneuverers" Kirk replied leaning as far forwards as his seat belt would let him. The Klingon ship fired but the shot missed the enterprise narrowly. Chekov fired back and hit the enemy ship just as it refired. The Bird of Prey exploded in a blast of blue and white. Unfortunately the phaser beam from the Klingon ship hit the Enterprise. Everyone lurched forward and flew across the bridge chairs and all.

Once the dust had settled Kirk managed to push his chair away and unstrap himself from the pile of scorched leather. He shakily pulled himself to his feet and looked around. Uhura was unstrapping herself, her chair having wedged itself into the railings along with Spock who was already standing and dabbing at lazily bleeding cut on his arm. Sulu and Chekov however were not so lucky, having had no barriers to stop their progress. Sulu was climbing slowly down from the viewing screen which was now sporting a very 3D chair that was wedged tightly into the glass. A yell made everyone look up to see Chekov hanging from his seatbelt on the roof. The legs of his chair had gone through the ceiling sticking the seat firmly upside-down in the metal. Chekov had obviously slid out from under his seat belt and was hanging from the belt his legs swinging madly above their heads. He looked down at then in shock as if to say 'what the hell happened?' Kirk couldn't help it. Whilst Uhura called to doctor McCoy to see to Spock and help rescue Chekov, Kirk doubled over with laughter.  
"So much for Seat belts!" he wheezed whilst he looked around at the mess. Sulu caught his eye and sniggered. When McCoy barged onto the bridge and took in the scene he openly gaped and scurried over to Spock and fussed over his arm. He looked at the crew in horror as all of them (excluding Spock and Chekov) collapsed into hysterics.  
A thump indicated Chekov's arms getting tired and depositing him heavily on the floor. McCoy ran over and scanned the ensigns body then screamed for Chapel and rushed the unconscious boy off the bridge. The crew silenced quickly and stared after the doctor.

(Serious Chapter now)

"How is he Bones?" Kirk asked worriedly when McCoy dragged himself wearily out of a 12 hour surgery.  
"He's stable now. Nasty bump to the head though" Kirk nodded solemnly. Nothing was more dangerous than a bump to the head.  
"Can I see him?" he asked peering round the doctor.  
"Sure go ahead he may not be awake though" Kirk walked into the room and saw the ensign sat up on the bio bed, head wrapped in about 7 layers of bandages.  
"Keptin?" he asked rubbing his head "vat happened?" Kirk sat in the chair next to the body. Telling someone they had nearly died was never easy.  
"You bumped your head on a piece of Sulu's chair cushion." The boy paled and began to shake.  
"I nearly died?" he whispered. Kirk nodded once and Chekov fainted.


	17. Curly

**written in about ten minutes so please point out any mistakes. and a ig thank you to Sonar who keeps leaving reviews but i cannot PM any thanks so here it is. THANK YOU!**

**Curly**

"Oh please? Please, please, please, please, please?"  
"No. No vay are zey going anyvere near my hair" Chekov exclaimed clutching his head prospectively whilst glaring at the hair styling tools the girls held before him.  
"Oh please Pav. If it goes wrong we can sort it out!" Uhura begged widening her dark eyes at him beseechingly. Behind her Christine Chapel and yeoman Rand smiled sweetly, fingering straighteners and curlers.  
"Come on you have lovely hair, we just want to style it for you. I promise we won't cut it." She patted the Russian on the head only to have him duck away still holding his hand over his floppy hair. He turned to Sulu for help as the Asian man walked past the cabin.  
"Hikaru tell zem tell zem not to do my hair!" Sulu laughed and looked at his friend with a glint in his eyes.  
"If you let them do it I will buy all your vodka for you for a month." He folded his arms and leaned against the door frame whilst the girls giggled in glee. Chekov could never refuse free vodka. They watched as the boy screwed up his nose weighing up the pros and cons. He scowled at Sulu and thrust out his hand.  
"Deal." Sulu grinned and leaned in and grasped the younger man's hand.  
"Deal." He watched Chekov get dragged into Uhura's cabin and wondered where he put his holocamera.

Chekov found himself pushed into a chair whilst the three girls debated the best way to 'proceed'. He looked at himself in the mirror, wondering what they would do.  
He gulped as they descended upon his head, curlers and heaters in hand.

Sulu's laughter bounced off the walls, making crewmembers out side wonder what was going on. Chekov was perched on the end of Uhura's bed arms folded and a deep scowl across his face. His hair was a mess of unruly curls that clumped round his ears and stuck up haphazardly. Uhura looked very pleased with herself, after sneaking the two others out of the room in search of the bridge crew. She had to admit Chekov did look slightly more adorable than ever with a mess of curls but she doubted he could be tempted to do the same again. Chekov ran his hand through his hair, feeling the slight bounce of the tight ringlets. It felt odd. He looked up to a flash and saw Sulu aiming a holocamera at him. He couldn't help but laugh a little but any amusement was choked down when Kirk 's silhouette appeared in the door way. Chekov groaned and flopped backwards on the bed as the captain laughed. He felt something land next to his head and turned to see a small bottle of clear liquid twinkling at him. He sat up and grinned at Sulu.  
"One of many Pav" Sulu said cracking open his own bottle. An if that image of a curly haired ensign happened to circle the ship, well, it wasn't Sulu's or Uhura's fault he looked so sweet.


	18. Glue in your Ear

**I found this idea funny. Thanks again for all the reviews it makes me feel loved :D I am also on Easter Break now so i may post more stories than usual in amongst Revision. **

Glue in your Ear

Uhura shrieked making everyone on the bridge jump and spin round to look at her. She was clutching her ear piece and Kirk, who was closest, could see a white liquid oozing out of her ear around the metal tip. Spock was frowning as he watched Uhura tug at the said earpiece only to find that it would not budge. The white liquid quickly turned transparent and stopped its journey down her ear lobe.  
"SUPERGLUE" she shrieked again making the Vulcan cover his sensitive ears. A muted gasp came from the helm and she span round to see the Navigator and Pilot attempting to keep a straight face. She stood up and marched towards the two men, who, amongst their stifled giggles had the sense to look appropriately terrified. Uhura pointed a quivering finger at them and hissed  
"If I find out that this was either of you I shall skin you both alive and pluck every single raw nerve in your body!" Chekov cowered still grinning whilst Sulu wiped a tear from his eye.  
"I promise Nyota it wasn't us! But…I do recall a very smug Kevin Riley with a pot of glue wandering around" she glanced at Chekov who nodded furiously backing up Sulu's claim. Uhura turned to Kirk,  
"Permission to go to sickbay to have this removed" she pointed at the ear piece wedged in her ear "and to go pay a visit to Lieutenant Riley?" Kirk nodded quietly sympathising with the fate Riley was facing.  
"No murders though please." He called after her  
"No promises" she retorted and strode into the turbo lift.

Ten minutes later a peaceful silence was shattered by a beeping on the com link. Kirk answered only to be blown back by the sheer force of McCoy's rant.  
"Damn it Jim! Tell Lieutenant Uhura she is not allowed to kill people in sick bay! Riley get out from under the bio bed…."


	19. Our House monopoly

**not sure where this came from**

**Our house -Monopoly**

"What do you mean you have never played monopoly?" Jim yelled, rattling the game box at Spock and Pavel.  
"We mean, oh look a game ve haw newer seen before!" Pavel replied sarcastically pushing the box out of his face. Leonard, Scotty and Hikaru were watching with mild amusement as Jim attempted to comprehend what the two men were saying. After staring at them like a goldfish he found the solution.  
"Come on then guys lets play MONOPOLY" with a whoop he ran out of the living room and into the dining room holding the box above his head. Rolling their eyes the rest of them followed.  
Very soon all seven were seated round the big table in the dining room with a playing board set up in front of them. They nominated Spock as the ' banker' because none of them trusted Jim. They hurriedly explained the game to Pavel and Spock and the game began.  
An hour later and Jim was bust. Scotty secured Jim's lost property and promptly built a hotel on each. Jim sulked. Leonard was skulking along the board trying to cover up when he landed on someone else's properties, only to be constantly thwarted by Hikaru. Pavel just seemed to be jumping around the board living off Chances and Community Chests much to his annoyance.  
Very soon both Spock and Scotty joined Jim in bankruptcy, leaving Leonard to struggle against Hikaru and Pavel who were slowly building up their (few in Pavel's case) properties.  
"Damn it!" Leonard cried as Hikaru demanded 20 million credits for landing on his latest hotel. With Leonard now out the game Hikaru and Pavel squared off for the monopoly. Whilst everyone bar Spock fueled themselves on beer the two men fought for supremacy. With a final curse Pavel admitted bankruptcy and Hikaru crowed over his defeated friends. They left him to tidy up the mess.


	20. Happy Easter Mr Spock

**happy easter everyone! **

**Easter**

Spock opened his door to see...a rabbit? The creature was hopping up the corridor towards him clutching a woven basket filled with rainbow coloured eggs. It was handing an egg to each passing crew member who were accepting them happily. The rabbit approached and looked up at Spock with wide brown eyes.  
"Happy Easter commander" it pipped cheerfully.  
"Ensign Chekov?" Spock raised an eyebrow at the young man  
"Da commander vould you like an egg? I haw one zat is not chocolate." Fascinated he watched as the boy rummaged in his basket and produced a large red egg and handed it to Spock. The egg was examined carefully before Spock asked the one question that was jumping around his mind baying for attention.  
"Thank you ensign but may I ask why you are giving out fake eggs whilst being dressed as a large terrain rabbit?" The boy beamed happily.  
"Vhy it iz a Russian tradition commander. Ewery Easter 've giwe out eggs to celebrate the coming of spring!" A young yeoman walked past and Chekov excused himself hurriedly calling after the woman.  
"Happy Easter yeoman Rand vould you like an Easter egg?" Spock allowed the corners of him mouth sneak up in a tiny smile before placing the egg carefully in his room. Humans were fascinating creatures.

Spock had to stop and stare for a second when he entered the bridge. Small fluffy yellow chicks were glued to the consoles along with rabbits and lambs. It was a most peculiar sight. Thankfully he noted that Chekov's rabbit costume was gone although he did sport a headband with two long white ears protruding from his floppy hair. Sulu was batting at them whilst Chekov poked him in retaliation. The captain was watching Spock happily a yellow chick wobbling in his hair. Spock simply walked to his console happy in the knowledge that Easter comes only once an earth year.

**not that i am running out of ideas but if there is anything you woud like to see written just tell me in a review or PM me. thankyou an eat lots of chocolate :)**


	21. Caffeine

**Written specially for tigersoul101 who requested a caffinated Spock. somehow Sulu and Chekov snuck in...ooops! anyway i took a few liberties in this and Spock is supposed to be OOC. :) enjoy**

**Caffeine**

Spock looked at the menu before him with thinly veiled confusion. Who knew that there where so many different types of coffee? Worst still none of them on the menu had a description so Spock was at a loss as to what to order. The captain had beamed him down to the planet with strict instructions to relax and enjoy himself, when Spock inquired as to what the captain would call relaxing the man replied  
"I don't know Spock just grab a coffee or something and walk to the beach!"  
And that is exactly what Spock planned to do. A young female human in front of him ordered a Mocha Coffee, oblivious to Spock's close scrutiny of her choice. He watched in fascination as what appeared to be two different blends of coffee were steamed into a large mug and mixed liberally with milk. It looked nice enough.  
"And what can I get you sir?" The young man behind the counter asked him, snapping him out of his coffee thoughts.  
"A Mocha Coffee to go please" he requested. The man raised his eyebrows but said nothing and began preparing the coffee.  
Soon Spock was stood on a pier over a silver sea sipping his coffee. It was bitter and sweet at the same time with a hint of something he could not quite place. Well he had done it. He had 'grabbed' a coffee and gone to the beach just as his captain had instructed. He looked up the beach, it's blue sand shining in the sun, and spotted two very familiar faces. Ensign Chekov appeared to be taking great delight in tormenting Lieutenant Sulu, who seemed to be buried up to his neck in the sand. Spock smiled lightly as he watched the Asian man be poked in the back of his head by a small shovel. He cocked his head to one side as Sulu strained and slowly pulled himself out of the sand sending the tormenting Russian hurtling down the beach laughing. It was quite enjoyable to watch Spock mused draining his cup, well he felt ready to return to the ship even if others didn't.

When he materialised onto the pad he nodded to the ensign at the panel and strode out of the room. He wandered down the corridor oblivious to the slight bounce in his step. He made his way back to the bridge nodding at various crew members on his route. So he found himself back in his seat at his station carefully watching his console. However he found himself getting distracted by the others on the bridge. The occasional chirp from communications, a cough from helm, even the captain as he span round in his chair. Everything was suddenly interesting yet his own station listless and boring. Spock found himself itching to pace around or even run. Knowing how illogical it would be to run on the bridge he settled for tapping his long fingers on the cold metal before him. He soon found his foot tapping along as well.  
"You ok Spock?" The captain's voice floated towards him. He span round eyebrow raised.  
"Why yes captain I am just having difficulty concentrating reason." Kirk grinned and wandered up to the science console  
"Did you get that coffee I told you to try?" He asked leaning on the barrier behind him.  
"Indeed captain. I believe it was called a Mocha Coffee. A most satisfactory beverage" suddenly Kirk was laughing, "Captain? Did I say something amusing?" Strange as it may seem Spock found himself holding back the laughter that was bubbling up in his throat.  
"Oh Spock! No wonder you can't concentrate. Mocha Coffee has chocolate in it! Get yourself down to sickbay and see is McCoy has something to counteract it." Realisation dawned on Spock; no wonder he couldn't concentrate indeed! He quickly left his seat to enter the turbo lift but Kirk caught his arm  
"Next time just get a latte Spock" the smile escaped the Vulcan's lips before he could stop it. He hoped that McCoy would indeed have something or Spock was going to feel agitated all day.


	22. Dare You- You-The results

**For ZenaraTheDragon who requested a follow up to Dare You. I hope you enjoy this because I loved writing it but will probably edit it later on.**  
**I also feel it only right to tell you all how I write. I design a plot and write a small amount then move on to something else. I then keep coming back to it at various points. Because of this it can take either a few hours to a few months to complete a single chapter however if anyone requests something I promise to try and complete it as soon as possible. Thank you for your time :**)

Dare you- The Results

In an unanimous vote lieutenant Sulu was, as the creator, left as the sacrifice to ensign Chekov the hyped. The rest of the bridge crew retreated to a safe distance in the face of russian babbling and left a holocamera with Sulu, to capture the events that followed; after all it was a good blackmail opportunity. Spock allowed it only on the premise that he could use it to better understand human reactions.

Sulu locked the door to the shared bathroom, effectively sealing Chekov inside. Luckily most if the noise was cut off by the thick doors, allowing him a few minutes rest and time for him to think of a plan. What could help a caffeine filled Russian burn off energy? Hmmm. He snapped his fingers. Got it!  
Quickly he ran to his draws and pulled out a pair of swimming trunks. He can swim it off. Grinning he unlocked the door, revealing his friend rolling on the floor shaking with laughter a tube of toothpaste clutched in one hand. Sulu sighed. It was going to be a long day.

By the time Sulu had manouvered Chekov to the pool he had already; torn the boy off seven crew members, dragged him out of five Jeffreys tubes, apologized to various departments when Chekov decided to grace their lives with the sound of his happy babbling through a comm and, if his Russian was right, signed away all his future children into Chekov's care. Brilliant.

Eventually Chekov was in the pool. Sulu had taken the precaution of removing anyone from the vicinity and promptly pushed his friend into the clear water ignoring the swimming trunks. He sat by the side of the pool and watched Chekov splash about in the shallow end. It was like having a toddler he mused as he dodged a shower of water. However it was his fault and he felt slightly guilty. Presently the noises quitened and Sulu was rewarded with the sight of Chekov, still grinning madly, floating past him on his back. The boy raised an eyebrow and lifted one sodden arm to point at Sulu  
"You pushed me in!" He declared with an air of finality.  
"That I did" he replied not sure where the sudden conversation was going.  
"You pushed me into the vater and made me drink coffee!"  
"Yes"  
"You Hikaru" Chekov floated next to him and looked up with wide brown eyes "you are not a nice friend!" And with that he straightened himself and grasped Sulu's ankle. With an almighty tug Sulu found himself in the water coughing and spluttering. He surfaced, treading water, to face Chekov who was roaring with laughter and slapping the surface of the water for extra effect.  
"Why you rotten little...little Cossack!" He cried as he pulled himself dripping out of the pool.  
"Cossack Cossack Cossack!" Chekov yelled happily and heaved himself out as well. "No more coffee for ME ewer ewer again!"  
Later a highly embarrassed Chekov was shown a holovid that he declared was never going to see the light if day. And if anyone noticed how a certain ensign's diet card forbade coffee they never mentioned it...at least not constantly!


	23. They Never Saw It Coming

'**I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed' thank you Marvin-The-Depressed-Robot-Who-Lives-In-My-Brain. Don't know why I wrote this but it suited my mood recently and I needed an outlet. Sorry for killing her slight S/C if you squint. Thank you to all my amazing reviewers! 46 Reveiws! I never though I would see the day!**

Nobody had seen it coming.

A bolt of blue light stung the ship, throwing people off chairs and causing the roof to fall in. Slowly everyone picked themselves up off the floor. A few looked dazed some perfectly fine. The captain swept his eyes round the crew looking for injuries. He watched his navigator pulling the pilot onto a chair and smiled. He felt the presence of his first officer at his side and noted that even the two security guards were unharmed, always a first time for a miracle. He turned to check on his communications officer and realised she was not standing. He carefully stepped over rubble and onto the higher platform and looked around. Not seeing anyone he looked to the floor and saw a dark skinned hand. Heart in his throat he knelt beside the limp limb and lifted the panel trapping the rest of the arm. Choking back a panicked sob he shoved away the panel and cupped the girl's relaxed face in his hands. Her chest barely moved as she took sharp ragged breaths, dark eyes fluttering in response to his warmth. He hardly heard his capable first officer call for the doctor and clung to her body whispering promises of health and survival. The navigator and pilot twigged that something was wrong and appeared next to the stricken officer. All three talked to her until the doctor arrived and took her weak body to sickbay.

The funeral was held later that week. Nyota Uhura lay in her sleek coffin covered in white roses and lilies that contrasted with her chocolate skin. Kirk stood at the head of the coffin and dutifully read out the Star Fleet issued memorial service; voice catching and bright tears streaming down his face. Spock read a piece about how she always 'preformed he duties admirably' his unemotional face tight and his voice deep and slow. Many other crew members sang songs in her memory and Sulu read a specially written poem on behalf of a sobbing Chekov.

The room emptied of crew and only those who wanted a last few minutes stayed and were granted privacy. Scotty was the last to leave after Kirk retuned to find him kneeled at her coffin side; one hand pressed against the cool metal, sobs wracking his body. Silently Kirk helped the engineer to his feet but couldn't help his tears as the man placed a small diamond ring on the coffin. He had forgotten that they had been dating for 4 years.

Heads bowed they left together.

The after party was a mix of tears and memories. Kirk went and sat with McCoy and Spock watching the crowds. Across the room a weeping Sulu held a shaking Chekov tightly, face buried in the boys hair.

It was a shock to them all. No one had seen it coming.


	24. The Invasion Of The Mary Sue

**I want to apologise for the last chapter! And thank those who reviewed because I couldn't remember if I had or not!**

**Just recently I found a hilarious Harry Potter FanFiction that was designed to complain about the abundance of Mary Sues. So it thought I would give one a go for Star Trek. I looked up all the various middle names they use. Ensign Sue is in bold Italics whilst the real world is in normal. Enjoy as this will be the last chapter for a minimum of a month due to all my exams that begin in two weeks!**

**The Invasion Of The Mary Sue**

_**Ensign Sue strode down the corridor her beautiful, lush, blonde hair flowing behind her. Her natural grace astounded everyone who saw her for with all her beauty she could be a princess. All eyes were riveted on her as she smiled to her close friends Ensign Chekov and Lieutenant Sulu.**_

"Is she narrating everything she is doing?" Sulu whispered in horror to Chekov

"I zink so…vho is she?"

_**Ensign Sue laughed at their antics, her giggle sounding like the chime of a waterfall. She continued on her way blushing as crew members moved out of her way to let her past. Ever since she could remember she had been destined to serve upon the renowned starship the Enterprise and inadvertently capture the hearts of the majestic crew.**_

Sulu stared after the strange woman and motioned for Chekov to follow.

_**Sue glanced back down the corridor to see Sulu and Chekov following her like the poor love struck boys they were. She sighed softly, the sound of a soft wind passing her full pink lips, as she stepped into a turbo lift and let the doors shut out the view of her loyal fans.**_

"Loyal Fans? Iz zis girl of her rocker?" Chekov stood stunned in the corridor before running over to a wall comm.

"Chekov to bridge!"

"Kirk here what is it Chekov?"

"Keptin zer is a girl heading…."

"_**Oh captain my darling when you will declare our love?…"**_

The comm switched off leaving Sulu and Chekov to hurry to the bridge.

_**The mighty captain felt his heart tug at the sight of his true love as she glided out of the turbo lift, her short blue skirt revealing shapely legs and pronouncing her ample bosom. The bridge fell silent in the face of her sheer beauty.**_

"What? Kirk gaped before she continued

"_**Oh my captain!" she cried and flung herself onto his lap kissing his cheek and tussling his hair in affection. Her captain attempted to stand before addressing his golden angle but she clung to him till he relented. She was never one for ranks because she was blessed with a fair heart that sang equality to all. She turned her sparkling scarlet eyes to him as the turbo lift opened again to reveal Sulu and Chekov gaping at her in disbelief. **_

_**Oh their poor broken hearts as they found where her true love lay.**_

"Keptin I tried to varn you…"

_**She carefully caressed her lovers flushed cheek and kissed him lightly before rising with a wink. The captain stared after her, lust evident in his eyes. Clutching her hands to her chest she exclaimed **_

"_**But my heart also belongs to another" she darted like a graceful gazelle across the bridge towards the tall handsome for of Spock.**_

"_**Oh my darling Spock how much I love the captain and you as well. However I would be willing to devote my love to you and you only if you should so wish it, because my dear Spock, I too am half Vulcan!"**_

Spock's eyebrow raised in disbelief

"_**Yes my T'hy'la it is true. You see after I was born my father died leaving my human mother to take me to earth and raise me as a full human!" she could see the happiness rising in his warm brown eyes as he realised that his bond mate was stood before him.**_

The comm beeped and Kirk answered never taking his watchful eye of the crazy girl harassing Spock.

"Captain its Scotty. A strange entity 'as beamed aboard an is present on the bridge. It took the form of a lovely young lass who claims to be Ensign Mary Amethyst Star Ebony Aiko Archer Picard Janeway Sue…She wrote it down for me Captain then kissed the paper!"

"It's ok Scotty we have it in our sights and can neutralise it within a few minutes. Bridge out"

He glanced back and was glad to find that the entity called Sue had been too busy to overhear the conversation.

"_**But I have a deep secret that I have never told another living soul!" Spock stared enraptured into her gentle eyes, wondering what great secret this gorgeous young girl could hold. "Ever since I was young I have suffered from…" Ensign Sue took a deep breath, her limpid eyes sparkling with unshed tears "From…Paraesthesia!" she gasped as she revealed her secret and flung herself at Spock who took her in his muscular warm arms and held her tight.**_

Uhura span in her chair to stare at the sight of a rigid Spock being hugged around his midsection.

"She haz been suffering from Pins and needles?" Chekov snickered incredulously from by the turbo lift.

_**Sniffing away long suppressed tears Ensign Sue looked up at her Vulcan bond mate and turned away.  
"It is true…all my life I have suffered in silence." She turned to see the bridge crew gazing at her with pity, Chekov was leaning against Sulu shoulders shaking as he wiped away tears at her horrific tale of woe. She turned her doe like eyes of stars to her captain who was stood with his arms held out to her. She gave a half sob and flung herself to his embrace.**_

Kirk shot his phaser at the sobbing entity and she vanished in a deep red ray of light. He looked round at his crew all of which had dissolved into fits of hysterics or were just gawping at the spot that 'Ensign Sue' had last stood.

"…Well that was new!" he said before sitting back in his chair


	25. Ginger Ninja

**Guess who's watching Into Darkness tonight?! ME! :D**

**I know I said no more till after exams but that's two months away! I have completed 4 exams and got an A* in my tech coursework though so I thought I would treat myself and everyone else as a reward. Came to me in the middle of science revision. May have a sequel may not. May be edited later, may not: P**

**Oh yeah and thanks to Chekov is totally Awesome who gave me my 60th review and hit the personal milestone**

Ginger Ninja

Hikaru Sulu awoke groggily and glanced at his bedside alarm. He closed his eyes and sighed; 15 minutes till his shift started. He opened his eyes again in a panic. 15 minutes! Hurriedly he threw himself out of his bed and flew into the bathroom he shared with Pavel Chekov. He cursed as he tripped over a brush the boy had left on the floor and switched on the shower. Without bothering to check its heat he toppled into the cubical and into the lukewarm water. He frantically lathered his hair with product and rinsed it away ignoring the tinge in the water. Banging the doors he left the shower and rubbed himself down with a nearby towel. He glanced at a clock on the wall. 5 minutes! He almost whimpered as he dragged on his uniform, keenly aware that his hair was still dripping onto his shoulders. He scrubbed it haphazardly with the discarded towel until it stopped shaking cold droplets of water everywhere.

Sulu tore out of his quarters and down the corridors towards the turbo lift for the bridge ignoring the strange looks he received from the crew. 'Just coz they aren't late for their shifts' he muttered bitterly as he raced into the turbo lift. He took the solitude as a chance to flatten his wild hair and calm his erratic breathing. The doors swung open and he stepped onto the bridge glancing apologetically at the crew. He was met by baffled stares and he was sure Spock's eyebrow reached the top of his skull. Slowly Kirk and Chekov began sniggering and Uhura was attempting to smother her giggles. He stopped short and checked his uniform. It wasn't inside out or back to front so what was so funny? He put his hands on his hips and glared at the bridge. He stalked over to his seat next to which Chekov was clutching his sides and gasping for breath. Ignoring his 'friend' he glanced down at the controls and caught a glimpse of his reflection. He stared at the sight before him and timidly reached up to touch his hair. He span his chair around and focused on Uhura.

"Do you have a mirror?" he asked in a small voice. She nodded wordlessly and tossed a small compact mirror to him which he caught deftly. Ignoring the choked laughter of the bridge he undid the clasp and stared at himself. His usual jet back hair was now a bright obnoxious orange. Paling he looked up to see the high five pass between the navigator and Captain.  
"This was you two?" he fairly screeched jumping up and pointing an accusing finger at the two men "You dyed my hair Orange?"  
"Yeah now you're a ginger ninja" Kirk cackled before sinking back into a fit of giggles. Sulu was not impressed.  
"Right. I'm going back to my quarters _Captain_ and try to get rid of this" he gestured wildly at his new hair. He took kirks hapless wave of a hand and retreated to his cabin. Sitting on the bed he began to plot either the untimely demise of an American and a Russian or his revenge.

**I mean it this time, no more chapters till after Friday 14th June. (oh boy this is gonna kill me!) Adios amigos**


	26. Don't Mess With The Nurse

**Whooo i'm BACK! Did ya miss me? Exams and high school are over…OVER! And to celebrate I give you this imply because I am in a kickass mood and Nurse Chapel does not get enough love despite being a hardcore badass (At least I think so)**

Don't Mess With The Nurse

"Just what do you think you are doing?"

The Klingon froze momentarily in his actions, the handcuffs dropping to the floor as he stepped away from the unconscious McCoy. He took in the nurse stood before him her eyebrows knitted together, her arms crossed and one foot was tapping the floor in Irritation. He smirked when he found her unarmed. He growled threateningly, daring her to stop him. When she didn't react he turned back to his task just as a sharp pain erupted in his lower back.

Christine Chapel span as her heeled boot connected with the Klingon's back, allowing her to land just out of his reach. In his confusion she took a second to check her chief. He had been knocked out with a blunt instrument judging by the nasty cut across his forehead. She snapped to attention as the Klingon thundered towards her. She was almost dainty as she sidestepped him, sticking out one foot to send him flying into the wall. Smugly she watched him uncover himself from the array of medical equipment that fell from the shelf above.

He growled again and lunged forward to try and startle her in revenge for the dirty trick. He hated humans, they have no honor. He was pleased to find that she was trapped between two biobeds and he had no difficulty in wrapping his long fingers around her frail throat. Slowly he pushed until her back was against the wall, her pulse beating madly under his grip. If he noticed the lack of struggle he paid it not heed until the sharp stab of a needle punctured his skin and the coolness of a new liquid hit his blood.

Nurse Chapel allowed the hypospray to fall to the ground with a light tinkle. She know she had a few minutes before the sedative would take full effect on the Klingon in which time

he could easily kill her. That was not an option. Sharply she raised her knee up and felt it connect with his groin. His gasp of pain made her smile grimly and, pulling her arm back, punched him square in the face. The sudden attack jolted her assailant and loosened his grip on her neck. Taking full advantage of the situation she ceased his extended arm and ripped it away ducking underneath at the same time. A loud pop echoed round the room and the Klingon screamed in pain. Using his dislocated arm she flipped him over her hip. He grunted as he landed on his stomach before blacking out. Deftly she snatched up the handcuffs that lay by McCoy and snapped them round the Klingon's wrists securing him in place. She had just stood back up and straightened her dress when a smattering of applause brought her attention to the door. The captain and bridge crew were stood in the doorway watching her in awe. She blushed slightly before remembering McCoy and span to help him only to find Spock raising the doctor onto a biobed. She rushed over and began cleaning the wound on bis forehead. When she was happy with the state of the injury she turned her attention to the crew. Chekov had limped to another bed blood trickling from a rip in his trousers and Kirk was bleeding and supporting a woozy Uhura. Sulu hovered uncertainty before sitting on a chair next to Chekov. As she passed Kirk after defeating a stubborn Uhura he grabbed her shoulder forcing her to stop.

"Nurse. I will be commending you for bravery and quick thinking in the field. If you hadn't have been here they would have got to Bones and used him against me. Thank you" she smiled before thanking him.

A few days later Nurse Chapel was tidying up in sickbay when Sulu and Chekov slid inside. She watched from the corner of her eye as Sulu hesitated and was pushed forward by Chekov. He stumbled slightly before walking over to her quietly as if hoping she wouldn't hear him. Deliberately pretending she hadn't seen the little display she turned and faced the Asian man who took a step back.

"Yes Mr Sulu?" She asked politely.

"I ah was um. You see when you. Ahh." He trailed off.

"He vants to know if you vill teach him some of those moves you destroyed the Klingon vith!" Chekov pipped up from the corner. In answer to his friends glare he shrugged "you vere being useless. I don't see vhy it is so embarrassing"

Sulu blushed deeply and Chapel felt sort of sorry for the man. After all be was renoun for his fencing and self defence hobby so to ask for assistance must be slightly embarrassing. So she sent the grinning Russia a scathing glare before arranging a time with Sulu. When they left she pretended to not hear the loud thump and the high pitched yelp. Looks like Sulu has no problem defending himself.


	27. My Wee Finger

this all came to be because of a conversation with ZenaraTheDragon discussing how Scotty may have lost his poor finger. I will rewrite this when I have chance I promise. if you have any white lie ideas I will add them to this I promise. Oh and thank you to Sonar to hit the 70 reviews milestone :D and over 5000 views, I cant believe it my story is popular! :D

My Wee Finger

When he was fifteen, Montgomery Scott lost his right middle finger. He had been hunting around in his father's scrap yard back in Scotland, looking for interesting pieces of machinery, when he slipped on an icy hover car's roof and fell. He awoke roughly half an hour later sprawled in the front seat of an old hover car surrounded by the smashed glass of the front window. As his senses slowly returned to him, his groggy brain felt a dull throbbing in his right hand. Blearily he investigated and found a deep cut across the base of his middle finger which was slowly oozing a deep red blood. Cursing to himself he sucked at the wound before ripping part of his grubby shirt off and wrapping his digit in the thick material. Shaking his head he clambered out of the car and made his way back to the house.

As fate would have it his mother and father had gone into town that day so Scotty, not being the best at first aid, simply wrapped two dozen plasters around his finger in an attempt to stop the blood flow. He then retreated to his room and apart from the occasional throb forgot about his finger.

It was only two days later when his mother noticed the tip of his finger had gone an odd colour did Scotty begin to worry. Gingerly he removed the plasters and gagged at the sight that met him. The severed skin was a deep purple and the visible flesh had turned a rancid green. His mother shrieked and bundled him into the car. The journey itself would have been terrifying had Scotty at any point torn his eyes away from his finger. It was alien like. Grotesque and sweet smelling. He dragged himself out of the car when it hurtled into the hospital car park, clutching his right wrist tightly as if his whole hand would drop off. His mother rushed him up to the front desk and the woman behind it boggled at the finger whilst calling for a doctor.

In the end his finger was amputated due to gangrene and Scotty had to learn to live without his finger. After the shock had worn off his mother was furious that he had never told her about the seemingly innocent injury and Scotty was grounded for months.

Star fleet knew of course, but that didn't mean that the other cadets did as well. Scotty had soon found it a source of amusement to tell naive cadets horrific tales that ended with his missing finger. His friends told him it was cruel after one wide eyed cadet had turned a peculiar shade of green but he simply shrugged and said it served them right for being nosy.

When he was assigned to the enterprise under the command of Captain Pike Scotty soon advanced to the rank of chief engineer. The good doctor McCoy had offered to try and fit a bionic finger to assist him in his work but Scotty had declined. After so many years he figured it would feel strange to gain a finger. When asked how the accident occurred he spun a story about a big toothy fish back in Scotland and an unfortunate fall. McCoy was not convinced.

He told the new captain, a man named Kirk, that it was during the maiden voyage of the Enterprise when the ship engaged in battle with a hostile race. He described a large hand to hand battle in the engineering department that resulted in the blasted creature biting his finger off. Mr Spock merely gave him the eyebrow behind the captain.

His favourite by far however must have been with the young Mr Chekov. Scotty simply said it was whilst he was hunting haggis as a boy. The eager young ensign had looked surprised and told him that he had thought that haggis was a food. Scotty smiled at patted his head.

'How do you think they became food laddie?' he asked and left the boy in the rec room.

Why do they need to know anyway? It was simply a carless accident.


	28. Boredom

**Hey guys it's been a while! You see I'm on a government thing called The Challenge and have just stayed the week in Scotland on an outwards bounds adventure holiday thing! I'm staying in Manchester this week with my team in a university so that should be fun.**

**Guess what? Good guess hahaha! No really my chicken has just hatched 6 babies…they are so cute and fluffy and fluffy and cute. So far we have named them Peaches and Jim but if you have any names I would be thrilled :D**

Chekov was bored. So bored not even maths would entertain him. So mind-numbingly bored he just lay on his bed staring at the ceiling muttering 'bored' under his breath. With a heavy sigh he pulled himself upwards slowly and put his feet on the floor, only to topple forward and lay face first on the floor with his head under his desk. He really was bored! Five minutes later he wandered to his door. It wasn't a fun adventure but it made him think of other things than boredom. Suddenly an old earth phrase popped into his head. He stood by the door, not realising it was open and passers were watching him, mulling it over in his mind. A cheeky smile filled his face and he sauntered out of his room and towards the rec room. This was going to be fun.

He entered the rec room and innocently wandered behind the captain and Dr McCoy. The two men were comparing childhood pets.  
"I took Star, my puppy, for a walk every day. All round Iowa we walked!" the captain stated waving his hands round. Sensing his chance Chekov smiled  
"In soviet Russia dog valk you!" he said simply before walking off and ignoring the stunned looks the two men gave him. He hid his grin and walked to the back of the room. He ordered a drink from the replicator and overheard three women complaining about the space web.  
"I hate how you have to keep tabs on your browsers. If you don't you can lose them, I can't find the shoes I was looking at." Chekov bit down a snigger and masked his face into a blank look and averted his eyes from the group.  
"In soviet Russia browser keeps tabs on you!" he plucked his drink off the replicator and walked past the women sipping his drink. A small silence filled the space he left and Chekov began to feel entertained. He began a mental tab on how many jokes he could make as he left the rec room and headed in a random direction.

"In soviet Russia party finds you!"  
"In soviet Russia law breaks you!"  
"In soviet Russia the fool pities Mr T!"  
"In soviet Russia bath takes you!"  
by the time he reached his quarters again he was shaking from supressed laughter. The look Sulu had given him when he calmly informed him that "In soviet Russia sword cleans you" was priceless. He did wonder about some people's conversations though…oh well he had fun. He checked the time, 10 minutes till his shift started. He quickly changed and headed to the bridge. Just before arriving he schooled his face to hide any of his humour and stepped onto the bridge. He walked to his chair and sat down. Almost too quiet for him to hear Kirk muttered behind him.  
"In America turbo lift rides you!"

That was it. Chekov cracked with his quenched laughter and soon his laughter had infected everyone bar Spock who looked as bewildered as a Vulcan can. The boredom was definitely gone.


	29. Oh Crumbs

**Specially for you directly from Challenge (just whilst on waiting for everyone to arrive!) I was reading Hansel and Gretel so this spawned**

First officer Spock looked at the floor before him. A faint trail, of what appeared to be bread crumbs, was scattered down the corridor. He looked around but found the area of the ship unoccupied. Raising an eyebrow he crouched down and picked up a fragment, rolling it between his fingers. It appeared to be a very fine bread crumb, wholegrain judging from its colour, but that did not answer why it was littering the corridor. Spock felt his curiosity pique and straightened up still staring at the trail. He began following the mystifying trail winding through the ship. After several minutes the crumbs led to a turbo lift. Spock stood outside the doors and wondered how he was to continue the trail if he didn't know what floor the creator had left at? Twitching his eyebrow he entered the lift and looked around. A small pile of brown crumbs sat innocently by the controls. As he went to use the handle he spotted a small smear of crumb dust next to the sick bay level. That meant that whoever did this may have in fact been lost and searching for sickbay. Yet that did not explain the bread at all. Spock set the turbo lift for sickbay and pondered the situation. Unless it was a trail for an invasion, although highly unlikely, it seemed harmless. The doors swished open and Spock glanced at the floor. Staring back at him was a fresh trail of bread crumbs. Smirking to himself at his deduction Spock stepped forward and continued his quest to find the source of the mess. The trail led him past sickbay and around the surrounding corridors. Eventually the trail stopped and just further up the corridor stood two young crew members. One was holding a paper bag and both were looking around confused.

"I'm sure it was this way!"

"Well it isn't!"

"Well done captain obvious"

"No need to get sarcastic"

"Oh just shut it and turn back."

The two turned and wandered back down the corridor still bickering. They spotted Spock and jumped in surprise. Upon closer examination he recognized them as two new ensigns.

"Ensign Redding ensign Townsend may I enquire as to why you are leaving a trail of bread crumbs across the ship?" He looked down on them sternly.

"We were lost..." Ensign Redding shuffled nervously as her friend tried to explain. As ensign Townsend continued her hesitant explanation she interrupted.

"It was better than dye!" Spock looked at her before pursing his lips.

"Next time simply ask for directions. It would be more logical." The two ensigns nodded hurriedly and Spock turned back down the corridor.

"Excuse me commander" Spock turned to see a grinning ensign Redding.

"Yes ensign?"

"Could you maybe tell us how to get to engineering?"


End file.
